Optimistic Neurosis

We've entered a new phase in the journey with Easton's allergic reactions. I'll call it, "Optimistic neurosis" because even as we've seen a reduction in reactions (due to finally accurately identifying allergens, by the grace of God, and strictly avoiding all but a small number of safe foods, see http://keepcalmandcarryepinephrine.blogspot.com/p/about-us.html for more info), the risk is always there. The risk of exposure. the risk of hives. of vomiting. of his throat swelling shut. of developmental setback. of death. And that risk never goes away. Going ANYWHERE is an act of calculated bravery. I know, I know, I sound crazy, hence the "neurosis" part, but as I recently read in an article in New York Times magazine, "The difference between a severe food allergy and any other possibly fatal disease is, essentially, one of responsibility. People with a food allergy can't fill a simple prescription or put their faith in a surgeon's hands; the only way they can safeguard themselves is through total avoidance. For parents of children with a food allergy, the responsibility is even greater. It is the kind of pressure that makes it hard for anyone to trust that at a certain point they have done enough."

"Have I done enough?" It's the question that makes me scrub the table surface three, four, five times before I let him sit down to eat. It's why I order my Thai food without peanuts and still don't eat it until after he's gone to bed and then I brush my teeth and wash my hands...twice. It's why we are transitioning our household items to home made, so we can be confident of each ingredient (he is allergic to a plant chemical often used as a preservative). Because studies have consistently shown that outside of clinical desensitization, which is not an option for Easton at this point, strict avoidance provides the highest likelihood of reducing the severity of reactions. Contrary to the misperception that avoidance makes reactions stronger, each exposure actually increases the likelihood that the next reaction will be severe and even deadly. Strict avoidance can even benefit the immune system and allow it to heal, increasing the chances of "outgrowing" the allergy. 

And believe it or not, the crazy helps quell the fear. Knowing that we have done everything within our power to keep him safe helps us rest in God's sovereignty over all the "what if"s. We do all we can to keep our child alive and healthy, just like every other loving parent. Easton just came with unique challenges, and every day now requires the thoughtful calculation that other parents might give to something like...letting their child go to camp. It requires planning, research, an emergency plan, and lots of prayer for peace and safety. 

For now, here we are... working hard to help him heal using an integrative approach with both traditional medicine and natural treatments, and we are hopeful that his life will not always be so challenging. And we are seeing improvement! He is growing and developing happily. He is not plagued with itching, diarrhea and sleeplessness, and he is never far from an epinephrine injector or a cup of slow simmered bone broth. 

{Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you.} 2 Thessalonians 3:16

What I hope he will be.

"Allergy Girl" he called me. He wasn't being snotty or mean spirited or rude. He was being playful and in a way...honest. Allergies are one of the most defining qualities of my daily life, and it's how a lot of people identify me. I'm okay with that because it means I'm open with our friends about our struggles and victories, and I hope it means they know I'm putting all of my effort into finding answers and wellness for my child. But as sincerely as I've ever hoped anything, I hope Easton won't grow up to be "Allergy Guy." 

I am eager to see that little cutie be known for anything other than this. Yes, he has multiple allergies - food, environmental, chemical - but he also has a gorgeous smile, an infectious laugh, a sweet singing baby voice, and an excellent sense of rhythm. He is bright, active, funny, and the most precious snuggler. Allergies will always be a significant part of who he is, and I believe that this part of his life will help cultivate in him a deep empathy for anyone who struggles with their health. I also choose to believe that this will not be his most defining quality.

Wouldn't it be cool if someday he is the fastest sprinter? the greatest dad? the best plumber in town? the foremost expert on tree frogs? Honestly, I don't care what superlative describes him, as long as it's not "Most Allergic." That isn't a prize I'm trying to win, and it's not something any allergy parent wants for their child. 

So how do we make sure he grows up embracing all of his potential? Simply put, we do everything we can to keep the allergy stuff "off his plate." We want him to fill his time playing, learning and giggling, so we are diligent to protect him from anything that can slow him down. We will give him all the freedom we can to pursue his interests, and we will pray like crazy that his immune system strengthens. So if my husband and I ever seem to be a little (or a lot) overprotective or one-track-minded, it's because we have a little boy who will someday be a man, and we want that man to fulfill every ounce of greatness for which he was created.

{For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.} Ephesians 2:10

So what's this all about?

The hubs and I have been discussing the possibility of a blog in our future for several weeks now, and tonight we decided just to go for it. We tried out a handful of names; "Easton and the EpiPen" was a contender as was "Perfect in Weakness." One was too silly, the other too serious. We ultimately landed on the pop-culture-rich "Keep Calm and Carry Epinephrine." It's admittedly unoriginal, but it's also something we say to each other often...almost every time we leave the house in fact. 

Stepping outside of the small comfort zone that is our home has become an experience in anxiety management as the list of avoidance-necessary foods and substances has grown staggeringly lengthy. We do our best to take it in stride and rest calmly in the promises of our heavenly Father - promises to establish our steps (Proverbs 16:9, 3:6) and to work things together for our good (Romans 8:28). It is our hope that through this blog we will encourage other families dealing with food allergies to seek peace that surpasses understanding in the chaotic waters of allergic uncertainty. We also hope to chronicle our journey for ourselves and our family, so that we may one day look back and praise the Lord for all He has brought us through. 

{And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.} Isaiah 58:11